the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
