remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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