Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
