someone threw a dead crab at me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I didn't notice because vodka
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
