i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
