I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
