so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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