Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Randomize
