My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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