Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize