Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
