What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize