What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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