im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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