i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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