Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
