And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
