hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
