I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
