If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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