I'm drive I can fine osifer
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
