You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
