After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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