Ambien. No doubt about it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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