They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
