Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
