I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
