Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
