They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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