i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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