is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize