Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
