you guys were way drunker than both of me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
