I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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