Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
