i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
