That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
