My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
