It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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