used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
