I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This baby is an asshole
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
