loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
