hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
