And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
