don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
