There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize