and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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