Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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