If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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