No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize