Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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