He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize