Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
