Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
