I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
