I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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