HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize