whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize