Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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