that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
